Fit in or stand out?
My friend’s family immigrated to Canada from India when he was 10. He realised that all the kids in school were different than him. He was brown, they were white. He liked cricket, they talked about ice hockey. His tiffin had paranthas, they brought sandwiches.
He wanted to fit in badly. So he stopped speaking Hindi and changed his dressing style, food habits and mannerisms. He distanced himself from Indian people, except for his family, and avoided Indian films, sports, and culture altogether. After two decades of doing this, he realised he still didn’t fit in. He was too brown for whites and too white for browns. He learnt that people called him ‘coconut’ - brown outside, white inside.
I could completely understand his struggle. When you immigrate to a new country, you naturally want to integrate and not draw attention to your cultural background. So, you start adopting new things. It often begins with the language, then extends to food preferences, TV shows, dressing style, music, and more.
But here's the thing - some folks have cracked the code. My happiest friends are the ones who proudly embrace both their heritage and their new home. They're like cultural magpies, picking the shiniest bits from each side. They savor Thanksgiving turkey and Diwali sweets, sing Christmas carols and dance at Holi. Because, you see, when you lose your roots and your culture, what do you have left? Alas, nothing.